Why??

Why, that is my question, I search for an answer and cant seem to find one. Oh, everyone has an opinion, but I don't want an opinion, I want an answer!!!
Why when someone has so much, do they always want more, why can we not be satisfied with what we have? Why, when someone has hungered for a baby for years, and you know they would be amazing parents, why, why can they just not have that sweet little baby, or why when they finally do there are problems? Why, the woman that can get pregnant, but never carry it to term?? Why one baby and not a second??? Why send them to the home that they are going to be hurt in or abused or used? Or worse thrown away?? Why, Why? Help me understand, I know, I know, and frankly I don't want to hear, "whats meant to be" Honestly Hate that!! I know I could go much deeper, and really delve into the whys but honestly this is what I want to know right now!! Why, Why?? So my next question What happens to that little baby that you miscarried? Does it go to heaven having recieved all the bady it needed to? Does it go back and have to wait for another chance? Do we forget them, and move on do we just move on???

So proud!!!

My sweet baby girl is just months away from graduating high school and heading to college. That's how it feels anyway, I know realistically more like almost a year, but it feels like it is coming so fast. Sometimes I just want to slow time to a halt, and others well....you know, anyway i am so excited for her, she just had her senior s.e.o.p. meeting with her counselor, ( couldn't go since I still cant walk) her dad met her there and I am so sad I missed it, she called me so excited, she was told that as long as she scores well on her a.c.t. test she can go to any college that she wants!!! She is so so so excited, and seeing and feeling her excitement, well you just cant help but be excited for her. I kinda thought she would just go to, S.U.U. but I don't think so now. I think she wants to try to get in some where that not just anyone can go to. So I have a feeling that we are going to be touring some colleges pretty darn quick!! Great job sweet girl, you have worked hard to earn this!!

On a side note, I went to the doctor on Wednesday (I was getting pretty nervous cause I still couldn't walk) and found out that I have torn my hip flexer muscle, that muscle is responsible for taking most of the pressure of your leg, for moving your leg forward and lots of other stuff any way it makes sense, it sucks but makes sense, so he said it should start getting better by this weekend that it was probably peeking out at that point and I should be back to running in a few weeks!! Crazy stuff!!
I have to tell you though that I have the most amazing, wonderful, patient, kind, loving, husband ever, he has taken such good care of me not complaining at all, and I tell you I have been up stairs almost the whole time, he has helped me out of bed to the bathroom, whatever I need, taking care of the kids, picking up, dropping off, he has just been wonderful!! I am so stinkin lucky!!! Love you sweetheart!!

End result!!!

I was so excited about this marathon, it really meant a lot to me, having lost the weight once getting pregnant, and having to loose a lot of it again. Having done it once I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it again. I lost the weight, I ran and ran, then during the summer we decided to get a family membership at the Washington rec. center. I thought wow maybe I can get Michale to start working out and help her loose some before school starts. So as in perfect Jennifer style, I plowed right in, running any where from 4-10 miles every morning then going to the gym in the evening with Michale doing classes any where from 1-3 hours. Well, obviously it was just to much and something had to give, and it was my right hip, it started with just feeling like something deep in my hip just needed to pop or stretch, something, but did I stop or slow down, hmmm Jennifer, NOPE!! (idiot) So of course it got worse, and then I had to slow down, if not stop a lot of things, I tried sports massages, chiropractor, nothing seemed to help, I kept trying to figure out what in the heck I had done, so I got on trusty old google and put in my symptoms and wala, there it was made perfect sense, and hmmmmm what did it boil down to OVER USE!!! (duh no brainer there) But it is the muscle that is in charge of your leg to move it forward, to just lift your leg, or kick.

So this is the end of July that I finally get it figured out, so I really back off and go to just running, and I sllllllllllooooooowwwwwwwwweeeeeddddddddddd way down, so slow I kept thinking people could walk faster then I was running! But it did get better, and I slowly got faster, and faster, I kept my weekly runs down to save my body for the long Saturday runs, it was feeling better I could still feel it, it definitely was going away, and the worst part was that I could feel the beginnings in my left hip. So After my last long run of 20 miles 2 weeks before the marathon, I decided that I wasn't going to run at all except 10 on Saturday that I would just spin, so that's what I did.

Saturday brought a beautiful morning, (even if it was 3:30) I was so excited, it is going to be a great run, I really wanted to beat my time of 4:29 and I really felt like I could my goal was between 4 to 4:15. It started amazing I was actually in front of the 4 knowing they would pass me but that's OK, I was cruisin and I felt great, yep the 4 passed me but I was OK with that. We got to the down hill and I could really pick it up, I was flyin and it felt great......................around mile 18 I could really start to feel my hip rearing its ugly head, but I paid it no attention and kept going, at mile 19 I stopped for muscle rub, by my 20 I stopped to stretch and walk or hobble, got barely running again, and by this time down hills are killing me and I'm thinking this feels like labor!! By mile 21 I stopped for more rub, and just thought to myself you cant quit now, your not a quitter Jennifer, by this time I see my second poster that my amazing friends made for me, cute little butterflies and all and I knew they were going to be there waiting for me and I knew I could make it that far. So I pushed on, as I got into town and all of the wonderful support out there, people yelling you can do it, you can do it, in some ways maddening just be quiet and let me run, but then I thought about it, and thought this is life, they want me to succeed, they want me to make it, it was hurting like full blown push the baby out no drugs, baby crowning!! But, I kept going stopped for more rub at 23 and 24, and just as I came off diagonal there they were, I smiled and bawled at the same time knowing if I stopped and I wouldn't be able to start again, Renee took pictures, I could hear Chris and the kids yelling for me, and there was Jen by my side telling me I could do it, it meant so much to me that they were there, that I had them to look forward to, (oh by the way the 4:15 and the 4:30 had passed me) Friends are an amazing thing, I am so thankful for all they did for me!! Jen ran with me to tabernacle, I only had a mile left, as I came down for the final stretch there was another amazing friend, that I have been best friends with sense we were 3, Connie and my 2 girls Michale and Merissa and of course I'm bawling again the girls ran me in Michale running in front telling me I could do it, and Merissa constant by my side. Ending time 4:48. The most disappointing thing is I felt GREAT, I could have done had my hip been acting right! But it didn't and when I stopped I limped, and the girls came in and I leaned on them, Randy came and carried me out of the park, any pressure on my leg sends shooting pains, it crazy, should I have stopped, I don't know. As I lay here in bed, not even wanting to drink anything because that means I will have to get up and go pee, and I even need help to go the few steps to the bathroom!! Randy got me upstairs yesterday and here I have stayed, just the thought of trying to go down stairs makes me want to vomit, even just moving my leg hurts. So the thrill of finishing is bitter sweet, yes I'm glad I finished I am a fighter and I always will be, but man I am hurting!!

Butterflies.................

Yep, I got em!! I have only 6 days to the marathon, I'm feeling such a wide range of emotions, am I ready, has my injury set me back, am I going to screw my hips up even more, where are my freakin friends and why didn't they sign up (cause between you and me it has be HARD training without them), Wow it is finally here, I am strong, I can do anything I set my mind to, even alone, or not, my amazing husband, whom would get up (or at least try) at 5:30 in the morning on a Saturday to take me to the top of marathon then stop at various increments to make sure I had gu and water and gum, he is just such an amazing guy, I am truly blessed!!
I think I m as ready as I'm going to be, I don't think my hips are going to truly get better until I quit running for a while, or do shorter runs, these 18 and 20 milers definitely don't help!! LOL
So for the rest of the week I'm sure the butterflies will intensify and peek at 6 am on October 3!! Anyone that wants to come say hi anywhere along the path or at the finish is greatly appreciated, thank you for all you prayers and support!!

Homecoming.............

How did I get so lucky? I often ask myself this question, Michale is such an amazing young woman, I am so proud to be her mom!!

I got the privilege of helping her once again get ready for the dance. She knew she wanted her hair down, dress ready nails makeup, good to go. she kept the poor boy waiting like a half an hour, but I think it was worth it cause, I got to watch his face as she walked down the stairs, and I think he felt the same way as her dad did when he saw her!! WOW!!

She had a lot of fun and he was a gentlemen, opening her doors and all!! She had a blast!!

The BEAST!!!

The beast returned for her final powder puff game, a little more aware of the rules this time, involving no soccer!! Michale, was so funny, so tough, she said she was going to eat juniors for dinner!! lol Man do they play tough, jut down right mean!! I seriously wondered if they all hate each other now!! Girls fought threw punches cussed at each other and through it all, flag really, hmmm more like

tackle, but wait wouldn't that be rugby, isn't that football with no padding, cause that's what this was!! lol

Michale walked away sporting a split lip a bruised shoulder, and countless other aches and pains. The best part, Kenny paid Michale $20 to crow like a chicken on the field, and she did it!!! lol

Weird mom!!

Ive decided, that's all there is to it!! Weird, strange, crazy, abnormal!! OK here it is, I didn't want my kids to go back to school, I like my kids home, no I LOVE my kids home. We go to the park, we go to the pool, we go camping, it doesn't matter really we stay home and play games, I really don't care, I'm with my kids, I love my kids they make me happy!! I just love being a MOM!!

Any way I guess it had to happen so they are all back in school, 5 of them this year and if you count Colton being in pre-school 2 days a week then 6, now that is crazy. So I changed Jayden from afternoon to morning because that is when Colton has school, so now I can take Makenna with me and go help in the kids class rooms!! Yay, I am so excited for that!!

So Michale is a Senior this year, which is so so crazy to me, going to the college for most of the day, then back to the high school for a couple of classes, and her "Senior experience"!!

Jake is now at the intermediate school, which he just loves, feels so much more grown up, so that is fun for him, I am so excited for him and this new phase he is going through!!

Merissa got Mr. Anderson this year, which is so awesome. We are so excited to have this amazing teacher once again.

Monica got Mrs. Turnbeaugh this year, she is so awesome so grandmotherly just what Monica needs!!

Jayden got Mrs. Cardon, he was a little nervous but excited!!

And Mr. Colton got the most amazing pre-school teacher with the cutest little school ever!! I knew it was a big hit when he came home the first day and showed me his big A little a and the sound is aaaaaaaaaaaaa so so cute!! YAY